My Adlerian mentor and counselor, John Reardon, passed away this weekend. His teachings on encouragement, courage, and connection have shaped every part of who I am — as a mother, a leader, and a human being. Even as I write that, I feel the layers of gratitude and loss rise together.
When my daughter was battling an eating disorder, John recommended a team-based approach where we both met with separate counselors and then came together to discuss what we learned. That collaboration — two separate yet aligned paths — gave us space to heal both individually and together. It was the first real turning point in our long and tangled recovery. As it turns out, that moment became my motivation for learning all I could about Adlerian psychology. What I learned helped me professionally in more ways than I can measure.
The Mentor Who Helped Me Rebuild My Life
Years later, after I was unjustly terminated from my position in the archery industry, I reached out to John again. He helped me craft a new path rooted in human and organizational development, grounded in my strengths, skills, and passions, through an Adlerian perspective. He crafted a series of workshops and gathered five other remarkable women — a journalist, a doctor, a corporate leader, an author, an animal-lover — along with me, the wildlife biologist. Together, we began exploring what Adler’s work could mean in our lives and careers.
That small group changed me. It marked the start of realizing that Adlerian psychology isn’t just a theory — it’s a way of living – rooted in encouragement and community.
Encouragement Begins Within: Checking Inward Before Reaching Outward
One of the most valuable lessons John taught me was to check in with myself first. Before reacting, reaching out, or making assumptions, he encouraged me to pause and look inward — to consider my personality, my values, and the story I might be telling myself.
When he said that the people in our Human and Organizational Development course could propose workshops to Adler Graduate School, I was thrilled. I created and submitted an ecopsychology series — and it went well. So, I submitted another.
Then he told me that others needed a chance, and I couldn’t submit more for now. I remember feeling like he had lied — because that condition hadn’t been mentioned before. But then I did what he had taught me: I checked in.
When I looked at my values — honesty, humility, and curiosity, I realized it wasn’t dishonesty; it was miscommunication. That simple act of pausing to reflect saved our relationship and reminded me that misunderstanding doesn’t have to become mistrust.
That same practice now forms the backbone of how I approach conflict in leadership spaces — pause first, check inward, act outward. Whether in conservation teams or classrooms, the simple discipline of self-awareness before response changes everything.
Bridging the Personal and Professional
Over time, I realized that what John taught me wasn’t just about personal healing — it was about how to work and lead as a whole person. Every model he shared —from how our beliefs are formed to ego checks in conflict and the meeting models and learning loops —was as relevant in a family as in a field team or staff meeting.
His wisdom has shaped the culture work I do in conservation today, where people often face immense pressure, public scrutiny, and burnout. The reminder to check in first, to lead from encouragement rather than fear, to honor our shared needs for safety, belonging, and significance — these aren’t soft skills. They’re survival skills for anyone doing meaningful work.
The same awareness and courage that helped me navigate life’s hardest moments now guide how I help organizations navigate theirs.
Encouragement in Practice: The Lessons I Carry Forward
Over the years, John taught me more about being human than any textbook or training ever could. His wisdom lives in nearly every workshop I facilitate and every conversation I have about well-being, conflict, and leadership.
I still use so many of his models today (and these are just a few of the many I could name quickly):
- Conflict resolution with an ego check – his reminder that most conflict isn’t about being right; it’s about being seen.
- Internal dialogue – noticing the tone of our inner voice and remembering that courage and encouragement start within.
- Stress awareness – his unique exercise that helps people locate stress not just in thought, but in the body.
- The meeting model and learning loop – frameworks I use in my Effective Meetings workshop to turn meetings into spaces for learning, not just logistics.
- Belief and mistaken belief work – exploring the quiet assumptions behind almost everything we do.
- To trust movement – useful vs. useless, horizontal vs. vertical, with or against, self or socially interested — an ethical compass for how we relate and collaborate.
- Number One priorities – a clarifying tool for deciding how our fears get in the way of living life fully.
- His wellness model – which reminds me that wellness begins with awareness and unfolds through encouragement to become fully actualized.
- The Think–Feel–Want–Act loop – helping people get unstuck and reconnect to agency and alignment.
From Felt Minus to Plus
John’s teaching always came back to Adler’s idea of movement from minus to plus — not as moral judgment, but as our natural human striving. Inferiority, he said, is not a flaw but an invitation. The goal isn’t perfection — it’s movement.
He helped people find their purpose by asking “why” again and again, until they either said the F-word or started crying. He’d laugh and say something like, “That’s when you know you’ve hit purpose — when it comes from the gut, not the head. That’s what you’ll fight for.”
That was John — practical, funny, and profoundly wise. We could laugh about how ridiculous some of our mistaken beliefs were. The picture I shared shows one of them – “You are in charge of your own worthlessness.”
The Human Needs That Shape Us
He helped me see that all of us — regardless of profession, title, or upbringing — share the same basic needs: safety, belonging, and significance. When those needs are met, we thrive. When they aren’t, we compensate, often through mistaken beliefs or striving for superiority.
This framework has shaped my leadership, my conservation work, and the way I help teams build cultures of well-being.
Why He Was Different
I’ve had many teachers, supervisors, and mentors in my life — but no one has shaped me the way John did. He was grounded and utterly real. He didn’t need to impress anyone. He simply used my own realities, behaviors and actions to point out what I was doing well and what required change. And, he’d creatively help me see what was required for myself – rarely actually providing direct advice. We always do better when we can see our own solutions and he had a brilliant way of helping me find them for myself.
He taught through curiosity, humor, and an unwavering belief in people’s ability to grow.
Carrying the Torch
John’s influence shows up every time I facilitate a hard conversation, every time I pause to listen instead of fix, and every time I remind a team that encouragement isn’t optional — it’s oxygen.
He helped me reframe my life’s hardest chapters — from my daughter’s illness to my professional heartbreak — as invitations to deeper purpose.
He didn’t just teach me Adlerian psychology. He embodied it.
Thank you, John, for believing in me when I sometimes forget how.
Thank you for reminding me that healing — personal or professional — always begins with connection.
Thank you for encouraging me to keep exploring and taking “Adler to the Streets” of conservation!
Your lessons live on in every circle I hold, every conservationist I encourage, every student I remind to pause and check in with themselves first.
You shaped not just what I teach, but how I live.
Reflection for Readers
John’s legacy is a reminder that encouragement, awareness, and belonging aren’t luxuries — they’re the foundations of good work and good living.
So, before you lead a meeting, have a hard conversation, or make a decision, ask yourself:
- Have I checked in with my personality and values first?
- Am I leading from fear or from encouragement?
- What does this moment invite me to move toward using my strengths?
That’s where courage begins.
I will miss you, John AND your legacy lives on in me!