
I’ve been wrestling with some hard questions lately. As diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives face growing resistance and outright erasure in some sectors, I’ve found myself wondering: What will this mean for the work I do? As someone who believes deeply in fostering connection, compassion, and thriving workplaces, I’ve seen firsthand how easily those values can be misunderstood—and even dismissed.
In 2023, for example, an eco-grief workshop I facilitated was mischaracterized as a discussion about climate change, when in reality it was simply about emotional inclusion. The misunderstanding led to opportunities being eliminated, and it left me feeling erased. Now, with new mandates limiting DEI work, I’m asking myself: What else about leadership and culture can we no longer say?
These questions have stirred up frustration, fear, and even anger in me. But I’ve learned that when these emotions take hold, it’s an opportunity to reflect—not just on what’s happening around me, but also on how I’m responding internally. This post is about that reflection: how I found myself mapping the Seven Deadly Sins to a particular leader’s behavior, how I turned that judgment inward, and how I found a path back to compassion—for myself and others.
From Frustration to Reflection
When frustration hits, it’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of judgment. I found myself there recently, grappling with a sense of anger and helplessness tied to policies and behaviors I felt were directly impacting my work and values. The mandates surrounding DEI work in federal agencies stirred up old wounds of scarcity, reminding me of times when my efforts were mischaracterized, labeled, and erased unjustly.
As I sat with my feelings, I couldn’t help but think of someone who, in my view, embodied behaviors that felt harmful and divisive. I wondered how those behaviors aligned with the Seven Deadly Sins, and as I mapped them out, I felt a small sense of validation. But then I paused.
I knew this wasn’t where I wanted to stay.
The Question I Didn’t Want to Ask Myself
I’ve learned that when anger takes hold, it’s important to turn inward and ask the hard question: What part of the very thing I’m judging in someone else am I embodying myself? It’s not an easy process, but it’s necessary.
The answer wasn’t surprising. I saw righteousness in myself—a subtle but powerful way of feeling “right” in my frustration. Righteousness often feels justified, but it creates a barrier to connection. And for someone like me, whose work is grounded in connection, encouragement, and thriving, that realization was a turning point.
Scarcity, Faith, and the Roots of Compassion
As I reflected more deeply, I recognized how much of my frustration was rooted in fear—specifically, a sense of scarcity. Losing work because of misunderstood intentions is painful. Seeing mandates that threaten to erase the work I love triggers a very real sense of insecurity. It’s easy to fall into judgment or anger when fear and scarcity take over.
At the same time, I began thinking about faith and how it’s often invoked in troubling ways. The current administration, for example, is seen by many as chosen by God, a notion closely tied to Christian nationalism. But Christian nationalism is nothing like Christianity as I understand it. For me, Christianity—and faith itself—is about love, relationship, and connection. One of my favorite movies, The Shack, illustrates this beautifully. There’s a moment when the Jesus character mocks the rigidity of institutional Christianity, saying, “All I want is a relationship.” That line always sticks with me because it reminds me of what truly matters: connection, not division; relationship, not righteousness.
In reflecting on this, I realized that while I had been embodying some righteousness in my frustration, I was also embodying its opposite. My willingness to ask hard questions, to look inward, and to seek connection reminded me that compassion and humility are already part of me. This realization was grounding and affirming. I wasn’t stuck in judgment—I was working through it.
The Turning Point: Compassion Over Righteousness
Recognizing my own righteousness wasn’t easy, but it opened a door. I realized that what I most needed was compassion for myself. It’s exhausting to carry anger and fear, and self-compassion offered a way to release that weight.
And from there, compassion for others began to take root. That doesn’t mean excusing harmful behaviors or ignoring the very real impact of policies that limit inclusion and connection. It means acknowledging that fear and scarcity can drive behaviors in others, just as they had in me. It means choosing to act from my values of connection, encouragement, and thriving—even when it’s hard.
A Process for Moving Through Judgment
This journey has reminded me of a process I can return to when anger or judgment takes hold. It’s a way to both externalize and internalize the feelings, creating space for reflection and healing.
- Identify the Behavior: Start by naming what’s bothering you. In my case, it was mapping the Seven Deadly Sins to a person’s actions.
- Look Inward: Ask yourself, Where am I embodying this same behavior in my own way?
- Celebrate the Opposite: Acknowledge where you’re already embodying the opposite of that behavior—what’s working well within you.
- Explore the Root Cause: Consider what might be driving this behavior in both you and the other person. Scarcity? Fear? Pain?
- Imagine the Healed State: Reflect on what healing or transformation would look like for yourself and others.
- Choose Compassion: Turn judgment into compassion—first for yourself, then for others.
A Tool for Reflection: The Seven Deadly Sins Table
Here’s the table I used in my process, simplified for reflection:
Sin | Root Cause | What Healed Looks Like | Opposite |
Pride | Inadequacy | Humility | Humility |
Greed | Scarcity | Generosity | Generosity |
Lust | Disconnection | Respect | Chastity |
Envy | Insecurity | Gratitude | Kindness |
Gluttony | Emptiness | Balance | Temperance |
Wrath | Pain | Compassion | Patience |
Sloth | Hopelessness | Diligence | Perseverance |
Use this table as a mirror when you feel overwhelmed by frustration or judgment. It’s not about excusing harm—it’s about finding a way to stay grounded in your values, even when the world feels unsteady.
Conclusion: Choosing Connection Over Fear
In the end, it’s about choosing integrity over fear and connection over judgment. I realized that for me, saluting to anger or divisiveness—allowing it to control me—was never an option. If I’m going to stand for anything, it’s going to be for the values that give me life: connection, encouragement, and thriving, no matter the cost.
Because even when the world feels divided and uncertain, I want to believe there’s always a better place—one we create by staying true to what matters most.
Please reach out to me for individual or group coaching to help with your internal processes.